breaking the boundaries...again
2008-06-02 @ 01:00:27
I've never thourht of breaking the boudaries in myself...hmmm but I did! today. the thing that were unacceptable by me and loved by other become so familiar...i absolutely love that! and to be honest i feel much better about myself i did really want to do it.
there's a lot to change, and also there's many chances you can do it so why you not doing it...that's me and my low self-esteem.
it's about people, sex-yes! not always enjoy it, everyday stuff.
but I am quite proud of myself! did it
anger or desire to come back...?
2008-05-30 @ 01:56:20
I noticed how often I don't want to admitt my real feelings, I do really miss my little motherland but insted of letting myself down and spend another evening drinking, eating an crying with homesickness I expalin myself it's better, not only for myself...a bit complicated...It's all about replacing the most difficult feeling with them that are so convinient....How bad is that....:(
wish were different person?
2008-05-28 @ 23:57:27
I realised how often I hate myself so much for being ME. I do really like watching people, I am very good at details, like to judge them, just for myself, and place in the right 'draw'. Among that, I don't like myself but like everybody else. It's the key to being happy isn't? how to fell in love in myself?
the dark side of OUR nature
2008-05-19 @ 23:38:10
can you say what would u do in one particular situation?... I said so and find out something interesting... something made me really think about human nature. It's unpredictable...
comin' back
2008-05-19 @ 23:33:12
it's all about leaving and comin' back. That's all. it's mostly caused by these that cannot be easily described. it's all my emotion that I experience every day ,that I even suprised about its range. I know women are weird but they don't realise they doing it, are they?... I do...happy, excited, down and up again. and that;s why Life is long I got my aim, and follow my guidelines. as long I don't brake that moral guidelines that are inside....
another day
2008-04-25 @ 01:21:21
I know, i am not very constant in my notes.. that's me.:) ok, and this time I'am not going another promise..:)
Nothing changed. I am few days older, was crying a bit more than usual. I can really say what I am doing. It's inside me, I just can't get rid of that. I still don't know what actually make me behave like that. A bit of selfish, thinking about myself as the only one on this f... world. There is one sure thing I can say about that. This i sa good explanation...yes! that help me stay 'normal' for another few days, or maybe weeks. I know it'll come back. If so, I'll find another explanation..............
today is the first real back...
2008-04-21 @ 22:43:39
today is the real back to these images. I was try to defence myself and show everybody how strong I am. But I am not. First time since I left I was crying. Today. That song made me cry. How touchy I am? Very. What is that wall for then? Be there, keep yourself busy, try be the best and show you not the worst. How bad is that? Can't I scream and say what I really feel today? no. they would never understand you.

I want to be there, In the place I left few years ago. was it really my choice? Sorry, but you can say 'no' now. I was so sure at that time. And I know what made me stay and be away from them I love...It was love. which is the real one? Is there any? it remains to be seen...
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