The Chestnuts dolls.
2017-09-25 @ 16:10:04
Hello!
Maybe you wonder why I am writting my update today (Monday) instead of yesterday? (Sunday)
I have a cold and I don’t feel very well. Even Laura diary was uptade in sunday instead of saturday. I wanted to do both of the things on time, but my body said „no!”
Also my mom fell from stairs and she dosen’t look and feel good as well.
Today I didin’t go to school. Tomorrow maybe I won’t go also cause my mom is afraid that my cold would get even worse. Also road near my house is in the beginning of rebulid so it’s will be harder for the school bus to come for me. I wonder how we will deal with it.
You want to know more about my past week, don’t u?
In the Monday we had short test form family connections. I think I did well. After that everyone in class said a little about our familes. My story was short, cause no one in my family is someone like hero or something like that.
I also had the two frist P.E lessons in my life. On the frist lesson we were on walk, it was so cold, but I didin’t complain cause it was fun. We were in park. We looked for some chestnuts. We found some, and we took them for the school. On the second P.E lesson we were on Gym classrom. There were some exercices that I did with the rest of my classmates, but when they did things that I can’t do I did my own exercices, and one of special needs teacher looked after me. My teachers also agreed that I can use gym class, afer lessons when I wait to schoolbus to take me home.
On the corridor some stranger girl said „hello” to me.
When I came back home I saw she sent message to me on facebook. I knew her name before. She is ex-girlfriend one of my classmates. He regullar says that he will marry her depsite that they aren’t couple anymore xD She ( let’s call her little monster from now!) asked me If I like her and If I will give her my mobile phone number. I said I don’t like her beacuse I don’t know her. Little monster said that it dosen’t matter , and we will meet in school tomorrow.
I hoped she will forget, but the next day one of my classmates had his 18th b-day, so we went to main hall with him. All school was invited and alsmost everyone had a piece of b-day cake (it was tasty!) and I saw the Little monster. Depsite she is 3rd year middle school student she act like more 7 year old girl. She wanted to hug me and patted my head and she was very angry when I chatted with other people (especially her ex)
Do u want to know what with the boys who has crush on me?
B-kun still look at me with creppy smile. I think Playboy-kun gratefully stopped to crushing me. Before he messaged me on fb very often, but now he stopped. I’m happy! It might be cause one day he tagged me on the photo. I wasn’t on the photo as well as the other 2345 people that he tagged. I wrote a comennt and it was like „ Do you looking for likes?” He deleted my comennt quickly and untagged me as well. Since then he dosen’t text me anymore yay! :D
On wedensday I was absent in school cause I had to take care about something relate to my Disablity living allowance. I also was on libary. I took 4 book with myself. 3 of them was my favorite series about UK teenager Electra Brown. The 4th book is something new. And I wonder when I will read all the books...

I also was on supermarket and I was super flustrated cause I hate shopping so much.
I also visited my older bro and I saw Jul-chan for the frist time. She looks like little sumo fighter. When I was there she only was drinking milk and slept She had closed eyes when she was doing all the thinkg and sadly I coludn’t see her eyecolor.
Also my mom said that on november we will go to the camp. I hope it will be the same place as before. I even texted J-kun. He said he is sorry that he couldn’t respond to my ever message cause he is busy and he said he is very happy that I will go to the camp again, and he want to have some tharapies with me, and he will ask his boss to make it
On the next day Ani-Chan sat next to me on the bus when we were on road to the wedding palace. I realized I enjoy that small talks that I’m having with her from time to time.
On cooking practise we did vegetable salad. It was tasty I think. After when we were done with salad but it still was more time left for school lunch and even more time left for comeback to school, so we ( I, Ani-Chan, Kas-Chan,Matt-kun,Pa-kun, Ka-kun) played eurobuzness. I was on team with Matt-kun and the game was sooo funny. I felt like maybe the school can change my relationships with other people.
On friday, before trip to wedding palace Ani-chan gave me her mobile phone number . Something went wrong and my messages didin’t reach her. She didin’t look like she was worried and she didin’t tried again so I felt bad.
On the wedding palace we did little dolls from chestnuts that we found in park on monday. I was impatient cause my dolls broke down on my hands many times , especially my matchstick that should my dolls arms and legs. Also my cold statred, so I was moody to that level when teachers started to ask whats wrong with me.
After making dolls there was time to play eurobuzness again. I didin’t want to play with others. My teacher said to me I need to play, cause they need temas, so I agree, but I was sad that no one of classmates asked something like „Hey wanna play with us?” or „Whats wrong?” I feel like they still don’t care about me. The game wasn’t fun as before.
When we came back to school we had some polish grammar test. It was quite easy for me.
When I went from school bulding to bus, one 3rd year middle school student went with me and bus caretaker, It was nothing unusual cause we always take the same bus. Let’s call him Little Rebel cause he has the same name as J-kun.
Little rebel called me stupid cause I didin’t appcet his games invitation on facebook. After that he started to sing some vulgar songs about sex. Caretaker didin’t react at all. When we were on bus he caled little elementary student a stupid bitch cause she dosen’t use facebook. No one expect me reacts to that behaviour.
When I was on home my mom said that someone called me. They want me to go to working practise for 3 months. I would to segeregate documents, but I would have to quit school for that. I wonder what is better. Both school and work practise don’t give me degree, both give me practise. I don’t know what to do. I posteted some posts on interntet about that. Half of people are about more work practise cause it’s more adult-like and will give me money, the second half are about school cause it’s more stable and will give me more practise. I am more about school as well.
On staturday I was mostly reading frist from Electra Brown Series and I started to write new note about Laura life. My mom also felt from stairs that day. I was worried. I stll I am
On staturday I finished new Laura diary update, I chatted with some random prevs on chats and Little monster texted me and she said if I don’t text her back she will be mad.
And I didin’t text her back :D I am so mean.
And what about today? I still read books, I still chatted on internet, and I wrote that update more than half of day :D
Thats all for today!
Take care!
I'm schoolgirl again.
2017-09-17 @ 14:21:59

Hello Again!
I don’t know where to start. My week wasn’t anything special, but I want update that blog regullary.
I decited to came back to school. Many people said it’s a good choice. Somewhat I feel like it too, but I still don’t feel close to that people there. Some of the kids in the class makes me like I don’t know how to act around them, cause some of them are deeply mentally disabled.
Uncomfy feeling.
But from the other side, there are kids that act almost „normal people” but anyway I still don’t feel connection with them. Only one things they are talking about are polish tv series and disco polo music ( disco polo is polsh version of italo disco). Teachers want us to do many things as possible. They play in eurobussnes with us when we are waiting for the schoolbus, they wanna to take us to swimpool. We were on filed trip in forest, but it wasn’t anything special. The road was too hard to go for me. In the end I had to wait for the rest in the halfway.
It was so cold and I was so angry that I have to wait for other when there were so cold! An they didn’t even find any muhrooms, only some old leaves and dead mouse. In the last weeks, only we,the girls group had working practise in wedding palace, and I really prefer it that way. I know I sound mean but there is better without boys in the class, no drama, no stupid jokes, and there is no B-kun who is always looking with me with the creepy look…
When our girlsgroup was on the wedding palace we did the basic cake. I wonder how it taste, beacuse we didin’t have chance to eat it. We were on the walk, we vistited park and we ate snacks. It was fun even when girls were talking about tv series.
Tomorrow I will have test. It will be about family members relationships. I feel like I’m in primary school again,
Anyway I have to bring my family photos as well.
I have no will to go to that school, but I have no will to spend all my time in house
Tomorrow teachers will give us our texbooks and maybe uniforms as well. I saw a peek of my uniforms. It was when other teacher who is friend one of my teacher came in the class and she opened all lockers in the classroom. Uniforms look kinda like japanese blazer uniforms. One of our teachers also gave us some cheap toy-like rings. It was nice, but I lost mine in the schoolbus, so I was a bit sad. The same teacher also said that she dosen’t want her student to invite her on facebook, but the other day I saw her profile and she apcceted all the students from our class, but not me, lol.
One of my classmates texted me on facebook. He never talked to me in the school, but on facebook he asked me if he should break up with his girfriend when he likes another girl. I can’t take him serious, beacuse he is the playboy type, and he change girfriend in every week.
I can’t help, but I can’t feel close to my classmates, I don’t even know If I want to be close to then…
I only close to to my internet peers and my therapists from the camp.
I started to think about J-kun more. But not in romantic way! He is so nice, such a gentelman, ha cares even me, he even texted me on facebook between camps. I’m not sure if I will go there again and it makes me sad.
But having crush in J-kun would be only a little bit less hurting than having crush on D-kun. J-kun has a girlfriend, he still is my therapist and he is like 8 years older than me.
My Neice, Jul-chan was born. I d’d like to see her but my mom says is not the time yet. I only saw her on photo and she looks more like my sister-in-law than my brother. Anyway she looks cute.
I guess I will end here for today. Thats my boring life!
The worst days.
2017-09-10 @ 17:34:46
If I have to be honest I hate my new school.
I really think I don’t belong there.
Why?
Headmaster said there will be both psychically and mentally disabled kids, but I’m only one there who has psychically kind of disabllity. My other classmates are mosly mentally disabled. Two of them don’t even know how to read or write! The don’t even know how to hold on corsevation! I’m flustrated that we do’t and won’t have regular timetable, normal subjects like english or math on high school level, we don’t evev have fukcking ringbells and breaks! Teachers are overprotictive. They don’t even want to let me pusch my wheelchair myself. The psychicaltherapist isin’t sure about the school anymore. He dosen’t know how much therapies per week we will have, he dosen’t know how much therapies in swimpool we will have. His only one answer is „ You should ask your headmaster” We don’t have reagular timetable so He can come in our classroom any time and choose one of the kids to going with him. He chose me only one time depsite that I’m only one in the class who needs psychical rehablition, so maybe he is lazy? Academic subjectts are and will be big impovisation. Cause we we have only lesons with three teachers and they are specal needs teachers and they learn us polish or math on primary school level. Technical (working) sujects are bit better. We have them outside school in wedding palace outside city so we have to take another bus that isin’t suited for people like me. On technical classes we did our own apple jam. Only one thing I did was cutting apples. I hurt one of my finger a bit and my teachers looked like they will going to have heart attack… :D
My classmates moslty know eaxh other from their old schools. Ani-chan is quite nice. If I didin’t know she is mentally disabled I’d only think she only is a bit too childlish for 17 years old girl.
I also think B-kun actually have crush on me, his smile for be look soooo creepy. He want to start a conservation but he is kind of slow thinker he can’t ever hold conservation. He is pain in the ass. Like everyone else here.
I’m not sure If I should quit that place or not. I spent my weekend in my cousins house. One of them said that doing even than kind of suff that I am doing in my school is still better than sitting in house. We were on walks, we also chatted in their house while eating snack and that was a really nice weekend I think.
Moment ago I texted one of my teacher and I said that I’m quitting school.
I wonder if it is good choice
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