The bad girl is me.
2017-10-15 @ 11:32:21
Hi again!
How are you? I wonder If next week of my life will be something that you want to read about, but anyway I will write.
On Monday my mom was at my school. Headmaster said to her that impossible for me to be official student of my school, so I won’t have testes anyway. I was mad. I acted like insane person and I screamed that I don’t want go to school any more. She gave me some medicine to clam down and said Tuesday will my my last day in school if I want to. I agreed, but it was a bad idea. In Tuesday I as in totally bad mood, I even didn't say „hello”to my caretaker at school bus. I also said to my caretaker at school that I’m going to leave school . I also said to my Teacher that I will feel good only If I leave that place forever. Later teacher said that she was afraid of me. I was in that bad mood that I can’t wait for the end of the classes so I called my mom to pick me up
On the same day teacher texted me and said that everyone are waiting for me, asked why I left and she said school will fighting for test in other place, so I decided to came back to the school.
In Wednesday I decided to stay at home to clam myself down even more.
In Thursday I came back, but I couldn’t say „sorry”
Why is that I can repeat „I’m sorry” about trivial thing, but when I really need to say that then I can’t?
Anyway I tried to be as helpful as possible. I even made some medals for Teacher’s Day. My school caretaker said I don’t have to go to school when I’m at bad mood. I’m really that scary?
On the Friday was normal school day. We had English classes for the first time. I did all the tasks as first, so I get bored. It was too easy to me. Math was really hard even it it was 5th grade primary school level. I even have homework that I have to do. We (I and one of teacher) had to wait for my for my school bus longer that usual, so we were both angry cause we wanted to start our weekends already.
In that school bus some other people started talk to me. One little boy who is like 6 years old asked me:
-Why do you have sick legs?
-Because I was born like that
I wonder if that enough for little kid to know? Or I should said something more?
What about my internet life?
On the Facebook group for disabled woman I received a lot of hate. That's way I’m posting so much, and they say mostly of my post are negative. I didn't realize I;m that pessimistic.
They say I’m stupid, autistic, that I should do something with my life and they angry when I don’t do why they told me. When I said I don’t look look for help and I only want to know what they think about me they called my egoistic. When I said I don’t really care about be liked they called me stupid and asked why I’m here. They also said that my problems are not real cause there is many of them and I write a story, so that mean I can lie.
I feel like alien even when I’m with people who are similar to me
I also write some posts about my situation with D-kun on internet. All of them said that my love is one-sided. I was sad.
On the internet I met O-chan. We have many similar habits. Maybe that why because we both are introverts.
My mom said that she want go to the new camp. She said we will go there if there any free place for us If not we will go for the old camp.
I hope that we will go for the old camp even for one time
I can’t live without D-kun, J-kun and M-kun, even M-kun is going to leave, cause on the last camp in the summer he said he may be not working any more when I will go for next camp. I will text him about that.
Yesterday I felt so weak like I was going to faint, so I didn't even update Laura diary.
Today my older bro, his girlfriend, Jul-chan, uncle and aunt going to visit us.
That s all for today!
Take care!
How are you? I wonder If next week of my life will be something that you want to read about, but anyway I will write.
On Monday my mom was at my school. Headmaster said to her that impossible for me to be official student of my school, so I won’t have testes anyway. I was mad. I acted like insane person and I screamed that I don’t want go to school any more. She gave me some medicine to clam down and said Tuesday will my my last day in school if I want to. I agreed, but it was a bad idea. In Tuesday I as in totally bad mood, I even didn't say „hello”to my caretaker at school bus. I also said to my caretaker at school that I’m going to leave school . I also said to my Teacher that I will feel good only If I leave that place forever. Later teacher said that she was afraid of me. I was in that bad mood that I can’t wait for the end of the classes so I called my mom to pick me up
On the same day teacher texted me and said that everyone are waiting for me, asked why I left and she said school will fighting for test in other place, so I decided to came back to the school.
In Wednesday I decided to stay at home to clam myself down even more.
In Thursday I came back, but I couldn’t say „sorry”
Why is that I can repeat „I’m sorry” about trivial thing, but when I really need to say that then I can’t?
Anyway I tried to be as helpful as possible. I even made some medals for Teacher’s Day. My school caretaker said I don’t have to go to school when I’m at bad mood. I’m really that scary?
On the Friday was normal school day. We had English classes for the first time. I did all the tasks as first, so I get bored. It was too easy to me. Math was really hard even it it was 5th grade primary school level. I even have homework that I have to do. We (I and one of teacher) had to wait for my for my school bus longer that usual, so we were both angry cause we wanted to start our weekends already.
In that school bus some other people started talk to me. One little boy who is like 6 years old asked me:
-Why do you have sick legs?
-Because I was born like that
I wonder if that enough for little kid to know? Or I should said something more?
What about my internet life?
On the Facebook group for disabled woman I received a lot of hate. That's way I’m posting so much, and they say mostly of my post are negative. I didn't realize I;m that pessimistic.
They say I’m stupid, autistic, that I should do something with my life and they angry when I don’t do why they told me. When I said I don’t look look for help and I only want to know what they think about me they called my egoistic. When I said I don’t really care about be liked they called me stupid and asked why I’m here. They also said that my problems are not real cause there is many of them and I write a story, so that mean I can lie.
I feel like alien even when I’m with people who are similar to me
I also write some posts about my situation with D-kun on internet. All of them said that my love is one-sided. I was sad.
On the internet I met O-chan. We have many similar habits. Maybe that why because we both are introverts.
My mom said that she want go to the new camp. She said we will go there if there any free place for us If not we will go for the old camp.
I hope that we will go for the old camp even for one time
I can’t live without D-kun, J-kun and M-kun, even M-kun is going to leave, cause on the last camp in the summer he said he may be not working any more when I will go for next camp. I will text him about that.
Yesterday I felt so weak like I was going to faint, so I didn't even update Laura diary.
Today my older bro, his girlfriend, Jul-chan, uncle and aunt going to visit us.
That s all for today!
Take care!