The history which has happened in summer 2011
2011-09-25 @ 10:29:48
Now I am laying on my bed thinking about what to do and what happened lately. My state of mind is really bad I feel like my whole life crashed now. I don’t remember such critical state of my mind for about 6 years. During the time I am writing this text I am listening a song of Polish famous band called “dżem – sen o Wiktorii” which translation in English sounds “Jam – The dream of Victoria”.
Before I start writing the story I will introduce people who are in this story. For the story purpose the names has been changed. Let’s say I am Andrew. I am 24 years old. I’ve graduated computer science studies and I have my engineer level. Now I’m on my master studies from management. I am from Poland and I interest in sport like football, tennis I also like fishing and any other kind of activity which gives me pleasure like for example playing on my guitar. You may ask why I have chosen English to write this story. It’s simple I don’t want no one to relate the story with me.
The other person who is in this story is my girlfriend now fiancée let’s say she’s name is Monika. I’ve been with her for 6 years by now. I have fallen in love with her but now everything is fucked up. She makes me a lot of problems for doing nothing. She claims I am not interested in her anymore etc. Monika is English teacher in primary school. She graduated this year and she is very stubborn person. Her state of humor is like the chart of sinus functions. Someday she is really great cute etc. and the other day she is angry no matter what I do. She is also beautiful and very smart and has great sense of humor maybe not as great as mine but she laughs and smiles a lot.

Another person in story would be the person that I know from a very childhood. Call him Franek he is a very good friend of mine and I know him since primary school until now. He graduated same studies and schools like I did and we’ve been hanging together for a long time. Now he is in the USA and his girlfriend/fiancée is the reason why I am writing this text.
In the end I will introduce Eve the fiancée of my best friend in whom I have fallen in love. She is very attractive and beautiful woman with great personality. She is tall and I love when she is spending her time with me. She is very hardworking and honest person. We know each other for a long time like 3 years(When she started being with Franek) and earlier when she had been in same school like I did.
Now when I described people in story I can start to write. The “adventure” began when I offered Eve a job in our, company. I knew she had been looking for a job and because I know her very good and we needed a trusted person she seemed to be a great choice. When I called her she told me she wants to know more details because she is packing for a trip to the USA to work there with Franek. She came to the meeting we presented conditions and she agreed to work for us. That time it was just my colleague and everything seemed to be good opportunity to work her and she didn’t have to leave Poland she was really happy of it. During the time I spent with her there were a lot of situations with her. She likes to joke so we joked a lot we talked a lot and days were passing by. Everything was normal until some Friday. I won’t forget this day. We had with Monika our 6th anniversary of the relationship when I was driving to her Eve called me by mobile phone. She was crying that she has enough life, no one appreciate what she does. She felt undervalued, I was talking with her some and tried to understand her. However, I needed to stop because my girl could be angry that I am late for anniversary so I told Eve that I would call her later so did I. The anniversary was strange I told Monika about Eve’s problems(they know each other very well) but she told me that those are her and Franek’s problem not ours. So I left topic and I wanted make this evening special for us. When I left Monika’s home I got sms from her that she doesn’t want to have anniversaries like the last one etc. I was shocked because I thought everything was okay but I was wrong it wasn’t. As I promised Eve I called her after 6h she was still crying she told me everything that they have problems with Franek that she had problems with parents and she feels really bad. I advised her not to cry, I told her many things and she thanked me for support with 3 magical words: “Dziękuję, że jesteś” what means “Thank you , that you are” those words changed everything. I thought, I’ve heard the most beautiful words this evening not from my fiancée in our anniversary but from my friend. That caused a lot of things crossing through my mind. Then I first thought that I may feel something to her but it seemed so weird that I left this idea away from my mind. However, not for long time. Each day with Eve in office was nice day, we talked a lot, joked, enjoyed our company. Heh we made so many weird things I’m going to give you some examples. For instance one day I put her in trunk heh or the other day I grab her and put her to the wall as we were doing(you know what) you can’t imagine what were people faces when they saw us. Of course everything was a joke. One time when my boss namesday was coming I told her to come with me to the city and help me to choose a present for him. Because my boss is also very open-minded person and has as we do great sense of humor I bought him a tits pillow and she bought him a clock where there are sexual positions instead of hours. After shopping we went to eat some food. After eating I told her I’ll take her to one of my favorite place and she would like it. I took her to place like 20km from city where there is beautiful forest and very big pound. Near this pound there are two big rivers crossing and there is forest around. She liked it so much she told me than Franek never took her to such places that he doesn’t have any other hobby than computer and she misses such going out. We spent there like an hour or more because it was getting darker and sun set was soon we needed to go back because her parents may be worried about her. Before we left she had told me to promise her to take her here this year and I promised it to her. As result of my promise I got an idea to have a free day from my job I told my boss I need to have one day of freedom and she told him she needs to visits her brother’s wife because she has given a birth recently. We planned to have day fishing in this magical place I was writing before. Everything worked we went there we have so great fun, I taught her how to fish she almost fell to water but I grabbed her, I got my arm a little bit injured after her “joke”. She told me she is very worried about her future marriage so did I. She mentioned that she worries about Franek’s family because it is not normal family. Franek was growing up alone because his parents were all the time in the USA. She hates his brother, she doesn’t like his sister who causes a lot of problems for Franek’s family. She is scared about her future mother-in-law because she doesn’t know her well and Franek’s mother like to rule, scream and Franek said that she needs to listen to his mother. She told me that with Franek they broke up several times and sometimes he said to her words like “get the fuck out” or “fuck off”. Personally, I have never said such words to girls and I won’t. When she was telling my those all things I started to think of it. Because I have some worries too. I told her some examples of Monika’s behavior. To sum up, we both are scared a lot to get marry. Eve has wedding for one year, in my case it’s 2 years. She told me that she loves Franek but she is so scared. I don’t know what I feel to her if it’s temporary infatuation or the begin of love. Everyday, I think of it. Everyday, I talk to her I want to spend a lot of time with her but I don’t want to exaggerate. I need to invent a new opportunities to have time with her. Now I got some ideas like tennis because she wanted to learn playing or swimming pool but it may be hard. What’s the most fucked up part(excuse me words) is that me and her start studying for 5 days. We won’t have free weekends. I can’t show her that I have fallen in love her because I am so afraid I will lose her friendship and such situation would be disaster for my mental health. All the time I need to balance. No one can know it. I needed to share this story with someone that’s why I decided to write it here. Dear reader it’s just a part of story, the whole situation is far more complicated that I described above but I want you to know that I am now in total mess I have no idea what to do and I don’t have much time.
Excuse me some grammar mistakes and style but I just didn't have enough strength to think of it during writing.
Comments


emilia_sa
Odpisując po angielsku zrobiłabym bardzo wiele błędów, więc pozostanę przy polskim:)
Z tego co piszesz wynika, że masz wątpliwości, czy chcesz spędzić resztę życia ze swoją narzeczoną, która z twojego punktu widzenia zmieniła się bardzo od czasu, gdy się poznaliście. Skup się może na razie na tym problemie i podejmij decyzje, czy chcesz kontynuować ten związek. Póki co nie mieszaj w to Ewy, ani nie kieruj się tym co do niej czujesz, tylko bądź uczciwy wobec Moniki i jeśli nie chcesz tego ślubu, to powiedz jej to. Chodzi o to, że powodem zerwania nie może być przyjaciółka, tylko zdecydowanie, że to nie jest osoba, której pragniesz złożyć śluby wiecznej miłości.
Jednak jeśli odwołasz ślub i będziesz znów singlem, to nie biegnij od razu do Ewy, bo przecież nie zrobiłeś tego, bo miałeś już kogoś innego na oku. Pozostań nadal jej przyjacielem, nie wywieraj na niej presji, aby rozstała się z Frankiem, musi sama dojrzeć do tej decyzji. Dla pocieszenia powiem, że jeśli dziewczyna mając do wyboru pracować blisko swojego narzeczonego, a pracować tysiące kilometrów od niego wybiera drugie rozwiązanie, to nie wróży to dobrze dla ich związku, co więcej można nawet zaryzykować, że nie jest to prawdziwa miłość. Owszem jest lojalna, bo to jest jej narzeczony i go kochała, może nadal kocha, ale nie tak bardzo aby spędzić z nim resztę życia.
Sytuacja, w której się znajdujesz wbrew pozorom nie jest taka skomplikowana, uwierz mi wiem co mówię, bo mam męża i dwójkę dzieci, a od dwóch lat w moim małżeństwie nie dzieje się dobrze.
Wiem, że dokonasz słusznej decyzji, bo wydaje mi si, że jesteś dobrym człowiekiem i nie chcesz nikogo ranić, tylko pragniesz własnego szczęścia, a pamiętaj nie uszczęśliwisz partnerki, jeśli sam nie będziesz szczęśliwy.
Powodzenia
Sadfolower
Thank you for your advices. Yes I have doubts. I cannot focus only on my present relationship because it is impossible. The time also matters because she is getting married for 1 year and her boyfriend comes at 1 month! If I broke with Monika I wouldn't go immediately to Eve because it would be so obvious why I broke up.
Why does something bad happen in your marriage? Maybe some advices what mistakes can be avoided?


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