not in this way.
2010-02-08 @ 21:16:12
oh my godness... I forgot about this blog. I don't have a time to write notes anywhere... nothing is like in my dreams...

nothing is like in my dreams... in my shoes is it hard to be on emigration... but I still hope for better times.

I don't want to give up. I can't. now not only for me...

come back to blog? I don't know... I don't have a time :(
2009-10-11 @ 03:56:31
that interview was tragedy. unprofessional. they looked for an idiots. so...
I have lived in Ireland equal two months and I still don't have a job. I sent over 1 hundred CVs. only 2 interviews. there is more and more hard... I have a less than half of all money I had in the day of arrival. My love still repeats he doesn't let me back to Poland even if I won't find a job. But I still believe that everything will be alright.

my english is better than 2 months ago. during my first days I couldn't say anything (pain!!) and I didn't understand fast speaking... currently I write notes, say long sentences, pain prior to talking is more and more less... sometimes I need some word but I don't know it... It's annoyed :/

I would like to write more, I have a lot things to say... but my eyes are closing in every second... time to hug my fiance :) how sweet he's sleeping...

I love you B. :*
INTERVIEW one week after arrival!!!!
2009-08-20 @ 16:22:23
I had an interview today morning :) I was very nervous... I made mistakes in english... but the man was very nice, he understood my stress ;) and invited me for a 4-days training :) !! I'm starting tommorow morning :D I have no PPS yet, I have no account in Bank Of Ireland, I even have no confirm of my adress!! But I have a chance for a work in Sales and marketing department - week after coming to Ireland :) I don't know what will be after training, he didn't say about working hours, salary etc, he only told me what is their company doing in Ireland and asked me "so... are you still interested of work in our company?" Yes yes YEEEEES!! I believe I will be a member of team, as a one of team of Customer Service Assistanst. I'm scared but I'm SOOO HAPPY!!! :)

Even if there is no work after it - it will be great experience :)

Keep your fingers!!
I'm engaged :-)
2009-08-15 @ 23:20:25
I live in Galway for 4 days. I'm looking for a job. it's hard, I see. but I'm looking for it since Thursday - it's only few days. I sent few CVs... I will send some by post... everything will be alright. I think positively :) I'm afraid time, when someone calls me and I won't understand what persone on the other side of phone will talk to me... why people always fear every "first time"? :/ dread to think.

I'm happy. finally I'M HAPPY!! on the 6th of August (day of my birthday) I heard: " You made me the happiest man in the world. Will you marry me?" I said yes... we are engaged :) now I can say this is my betrothed :) there is yet another reason of my lucky - I have my Sun near me forever. I know, that I don't have to back to Poland. I will have him day by day, forever, whether or no.

I won't write notes very often. I must looking for job, train, make my english better (B2 - C1)... and spend all free time with my love :*
so hard.
2009-07-23 @ 22:27:08
I want to answer to guest from comment from previous note. my love has lived in Galway since 4 - 5 years. I will to find job there... I know, it could be so hard... I heard that in Dublin is more difficult to find a job than in Galway... but I don't know the true. I'll see it in August... in Poland is so hard too. I can't find job, because I don't have any experience. But where can I get it, if nobody want to employ me???? practice, 4 months in court. really big experience... damn!! I've hated Poland since few years, for everything what is here. there is a big tragedy with everything.
I lost 7kg. I can't eat less, it's dangerous for me... 1,5 year ago I was unsafe of anorexia... now I eat 3 times a day + a snack. I drink 2 litres of beverage, for example tea, coffe, milk... I don't eat after 6pm. meat, vegetable, fruit, spices. It's everything. I don't eat sweets, fast-foods and many more bad things for my silhouette. I got used to this menu. but I stopped training last week. I have a lot of matters to do before trip to Bieszczady and flight to Galway. I have no free time to exercise...
don't try to understand me if you don't want to do it.
2009-07-19 @ 03:18:29
sometimes I think he doesn't understand. I have really hard times, but he says, that I should be calm, I must to think positively... ok, but I must to realize that some things may goes wrong... I must to prepare for it, I don't want to dissapoint myself... he has lived in Ireland for five years, for him everything is clear and easy, in his opinion it should be the same for me... how annoyed...
sometimes I miss university, law... I think a lot about my decision... I'm afraid I may regret... I miss people from university... everything what I did, what I do, and what I will do - is crazy!! I'm changing my life 180degrees!! I'm going to leave all I have...
but... I really need it...
my weight is ratty!! I have lost 6 kilograms. and rest?? beach is waiting, I'll be there for 16 days... and I have 6 kilograms for quarry... what a slough :( I work out everyday for 2 hours a day... I'm sad, because it isn't already effective... what else can I do?... I'm afraid nothing... :(
seventeen and twenty-four.
2009-07-18 @ 22:38:16
17 days to go to the mountains. 24 days to leaving Poland for a long time. I'm scared more and more. I'm afraid I won't find a job. I said him that I can be depressed, if I don;t find a job... he is angry for it... he said he don't want my bad humour there, he gets me there for a better time, without tears and hump... he can't believe that I'm not realize I can do everything what I want. He believe in me... like always...
he understands, that I'm scared. uff...
he's calling on Skype, so let's talk ;)
don't quarrel with me...
2009-07-15 @ 18:38:12
there is too much quarrels last days... we are both nervous... me and my darling... he wants to stop smoke, he tries to smoke only few cigarettes a day... he has a short fuse... I have more problems in my house, with my mother... she is worse day by day... she can say and do everything, whan can hurt me, in every matter...
I'm flying to Ireland for a 27 days... for a 20 days I will be in mountains with my love... by then I will be very calm... my love will be protecting me in advance of my mother... then wedding of my love's cousin... and flight to Shannon. everything will be ok... It must be ok!! I still try to think positively.
I'd rather to have a problems with finding job for example, than to stay here an be more and more nervous day bay day :/
now it's time to "Angielski No Problem" - Lesson 6/12, Level B1 :)
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