2009-03-29 @ 20:17:59
I'm very, very, very happy! Yesterday, I met my old friend. We didn't talk to each other. In fact, we had our 'bad days' and we didn't want to meet, never again. But, sometimes fate is totally unexpected. It was our great reunion and I'm really glad now. I just hope it will stay like that forever. I don't want to repeat this hard situation anymore.
Geeeez, I'm really happy ^_^ Finally. ^_^
love hurts.
2009-03-16 @ 23:40:18
I'm scared. There are so many things I want to remove from my mind. I can't, no matter how hard I try. It's been almost 1,5 year and I still remember everything just like at the beginning. I didn't believe in love. I used to think, that love is only in books and movies, that everyone is an egoist, and no one cares about anyone. I thought that love's overrated. I was wrong, totally wrong. Nowadays... I can't pick up the pieces of myself. Even if everything is finished, even if it WAS finished 1,5 year ago. Sometimes I think that when I'll be old and dying, I'll die with his picture in my hand. What am I supposed to do? If he could only smile to me, just once, I'd be the happiest girl in the world, but he hates me for some stupid reason. He could stop acting like a child, seriously. He's an adult, but he's behaving like an 16 years old boy. He doesn't want to listen, he doesn't want to tell me what's wrong, he does everything to make me cry, but when he sees me, he pretends like he doesn't know me. There's nothing I won't do to forget about him. I just can't take it anymore. I'm glad I'll move out in August. I won't see his face again. It's good, but... Why do I want to stay? Foolish me.

2009-03-10 @ 22:43:20
Days and nights, when I close my eyes, the picture in my head can't let me smile again. Prince Charming, who should come long time ago, is gone, gone forever, tears and regrets wouldn't make him come back. I'll be strong. I won't cry. I won't touch imaginairy hair again, I won't wash my face with futile hope again. I won't delude myself, that hapiness will fall from heaven again. I won't live in my mini-palace of hopes and dreams, which are too hard to come true. Imaginairy hurts. Dreams become drug, it's easy way to be addicted. Drug that -like any other - doesn't bring happiness. It brings a moment of felicity and then the reality comes and destroys everything I could touch, embrace by my imaginairy. Where are you? Where am I? We've lost ourselves on the way without 'come back'. Dorothy lost the way and she'll never find it. The Wizard can wait forever, but she won't come. He'll never see her the way he should, he'll never hear what she wanted to say, he'll never say that it's lie that all is lost. Why wouldn't he come to her by himself? She's escaped. She'll be watching now. There's nothing to do, everything's done, but there are no results. What is left? Is there something to hold? Is there any sense? Was it needed? I'm looking for a sign, little ghost of a hope, that not all is lost. There are no signs, there is no hope and merciless time's passing by. It's like... Somebody took all doors with daylights behind them. There are walls everywhere. Walls and only one locked door - the one through I came here. It's hard to understand, just like geometry or Platon's philosophy. I don't know who am I now. I'm blaming myself for you. I'm blaming you for myself. What a crazy way to be.
2009-03-09 @ 23:28:32
First time here.
I used to write an english "sth like blog" on myspace, but I think that moving on here is a better idea. First of all - I'm not some kind of super cool english expert, I'll probably make million mistakes, but... I'm just a human being, it's normal ^^. So let me introduce myself.
My name's Emily, I'm almost 20. I have dreams I want to reach, I have invisible wings I want to open. I love solitude, but it doesn't mean I'm shy. I like meeting people, I like parties, I'm sociable, but being alone is sth I love the most.
Ok, Japan, too. ^_^ And I'm pretty weird - when I was a child, I wanted to be a coroner. Now, my biggest passion are murderers, ghosts, everything what's gloomy, dark, murk and mysterious. But I look like a normal girl, don't be scared ^__^ I just have pretty weird views, that's all. ^^
Oh, I'm studying english philology, but, to be honest - I have a lot of problems with interpunction and vocabulary. XD Don't blame me, I'm trying hard to do my best :D
Ok, I think it will be enough for the first note. I'll just make sth like a journal here. Nothing special, just my thoughts, my life, I know I'm boring. ^_^
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Język angielski matura z angielskiego Gramatyka angielska