I have got backache for 3 weeks. When I`am doing permanent moves like walking, cleaning, driving a car I feel much pressur in down my back. I take pills, use warm patches and do excersise five, six times a day. Day by day I suffer. I have visited my GP three times and he couldn`t help me. He didn`t give me important advice only pills and gel.Ehhh
At work thinking that I simulate and want money from insurance. Bullshit, I didn`t want this pain, but insurance will be very all right. When I need help they show me their back.All right understand this shity system. When I`am ill I can`t do performance company doesn`t need me. The second thing - My`s GP said me last time : ,, you have taken other people work. ,, Ehh.....another bullshit. I don`t want this pain. Next month will be interesting. I am going to my girfriend`s sister weeding, investigation at work: one about performance, one about accident and one about absence. I train I`ll have hope to back to work as as possible. I don`t give up. (18)

I sleep 7,8 hours. Two, three times a week I train at gym.I don`t drink alcohol, I eat healthy food, lees sweet and fat in my diet. Everyday English and develop my personality, better comunication and voice. Ehhh, I don`t know where my discipline ran becose since Monday I`ve drank alcohol, I`ve eaten fat food and tons of sweets. I have brake at work, becose my back needs time to recover. And I lie on bed, read books, watch movies, drink alcohol and chating with old friends. I broke discipline and I swim in my old habbits. My load of energy is somewhere in the middle of nothing. Ehh, I don`t give up. Today is new day, new life. Excuses are dead. I am a lad who go active way. My goals waiting for me on the roof, I need a good ladder. Settle thoughts,choose 2,3 goals not more and start work. And don`t drink too much. (12)

I`ve just finished read book ,,Dealer,, Camerona White`a. Since 2008 I`ve focused on motivation books and I need change. ,,Dealer,, tells story English man - Mo who lifes go around sell and take drugs. From London, Amsterdam, New York, Los Angeles, Berlin to Australia he goes drug path. His favourite sentence is : ,,work hard, play hard, fuck hard,,. He loves money and drugs, the best moment in his life is good transaction and kef. From bussinesman who has a lot of money in London clubs to dirty narcotician who steals money young kids in Zoo station in Berlin. Kef is the most important, kef shows way in life, from taste views to see voices, from one kef to another. He shows point dealer, drug addict and normal man who wants good part with surprise. He shows dark side drugs. At the end of story , he met woman. He become man with hope. Hope gives him strength to fight with new day.He found love to his close friends. And have strenght to figh with nightmares and live without kef. (15)

I with my girlfriend we are thinking about wedding. And today we had appointment with our priest. We don`t often go to church. In past we were practicising catholics. Nowadays we have our rulles, we learn communication skills and care about ourself.
I want to write about appointment with priest. I`m not so happy and confiused after this meeting. He didn`t listen us, talked about open hear to God, but forgot open his heart to us. He compared our relationship to others without knew us. His tip is : go to church everyday, it`ll give you strong relation. He was talking and talking and didn`t listen. He knows everything. Ehhhh I`m disappointed. (11)

On of the most important lesson which I`ve learnt here in England is: don`t be nice for everybody.
We live in crazy times where we can meet people who cheats,stole or get from you everything valuable. Mechanic wants too much money, employer commands impossible things, familly want to tell you their old rulles, man in property agency wants your money, your old mate wants your girlfriend. If I`m a nice guy for these people I`ll lose respect to myself and lose all of this things.Victims bringing predators this is a nature low.

The first thing is to be nice for yourself. Nobody won`t respect you if you don`t respect yourself. If I`ll be quietly and nice man ,pigs eat my things, respect and motivation. The best way is to be honey in your needs and don`t scare talking about your rulles.

Thank you for read,
see you soon
(12)

I`m an emigrant. I live in England and I don`t know when I come back.Maybe never. Poland ? Only for holiday. I`ve lost many friends. I`ve found love my life. I`ve lost my dreams and I`ve found some new. I haven`t winter from two years but see rain nearly everyweek.

Today I had conversation with my friends from Poland. He finished his study and will be fitness and kickboxing instructor. How wonderfully. He`s got my dream from past. At the moment I`m thinking about my chance in Poland. Where was my chance ? I don`t know until now. Here is good time, good place. My Sister has bought an apartment. My brother has wedding in week. Many old mates who writes his own history live day by day. I miss them .I can`t see this events I`m too far. I understand this is price of emigration . I understand it.

(22)

I finished work today at 3 o`clock. Pain in back or backache this is main reason. I was at my GP and I have appoitment in 5 days. I have 4 days off and I`m happy. From last days I complain about not enough time and I`ve got now 4 days. Four days learn English, read books, watch movies which waiting for me from weeks and much time for my Love.

I had today some conversations in English and I know I need more gramma lessons. I met young English Tim. When I was in clinique I had good conversation with secretary. I speak everything what I want. I try to speak more words with lower sound in voice it help me to more concetrate.

I have a lot of time so for this four days I`ll be write at least one note about my day .

See you soon
(11)

Another day in warehouse, another investigation, another conversation in English and some of them really proper. I try to do my work good. I have weeks, days when I one of top drivers or pickers in our company and I`m very happy. I have as well days when I last and hate my work.
I dream everyday about my lifestyle in future. And now I have the one of the best moment in life.
My beauty girl brought me beer. OHHHH yesss

So , I must care about my Princess
See you soon
(7)

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"Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try." - Dennis DeYoung