Today is Saint Andrew's Eve. It's a traditional eve celebrated in Poland on the night of 30th November since 13th century. As I had decided I stayed home. Alought it's great opportunity to meet friends %)
Now I have time to read my school lecture and to watch films I downloaded. I am going to the gym later. I haven't been there for so long. I wanted to exercise regulary but the vast majority of time I was spending with my boyfreind so I had no time. I was spedning it better at least:)

Yesterday I had an argue with my mum. She was angry because I often go somewhere instead of sitting home. Today I'm going to come out again to meet with my boyfriend so I think that there will be next fight. I don't want to sit home especially that it's start of weekend. But tommorow I will. Maybe It help my to concilate with her. Those restrictions are annoying...

A lot of people told me to forgot about my ex. I succed. I became accustomed to this situation and I have no problem with pass him and his new girl in school. Besides I met somebody! <3 I don't know how I should call this relation. He is neither ordinary mate nor my boyfriend. Maybe in few days it will solve. :)

I have to learn more because I have worse notes than earlier. It's only month to end of school term.

I noticed that I have better contact with class in this term. I talk with everybody and I have with them great time. I became more confident. It's quite weird because few months ago I hated most of them. Their insicerity and lies were annoying me. Now there are new groups (unfortunately) and it's reason not to like them again but it's just reality. I understood that. In every class are groups and people don't have to like each other. I found out that everybody has some good features and everybody deserves chance.

His new girlfriend isn't pretty... She is ugly! And she has got red hair. I can't understand why he is with her and why he spends with her more time in school than he used to spend with me...

'Live like there is no tomorrow, Sing as if no one can hear, Love like you have never been hurt, Dance as if nobody is watching, Laugh like no one is listening!'

I love this quote. It resembles me that I shouldn't care about what people say and that I should use life more. There's only one life and only one chance to live. If I look for others, I won't do what I want. I have to be myself with no scare.

My ex found new girl in my school... ,,great". I don't know if it will be ok. Maybe I will kill her? joke... Alought it's great idea that could release me. I will pretend that everything is ok and that I don't care.
He's an idiot, like vast majority of men.

Lately neither my state of mind nor self-esteem aren't good. There are moments when I think that I'm useless, stupid, boring... I think it's because I often do stupid things. And later I deplore.
Few days ago I did something and now I feel like a slut... I hope I'll solve my problems that flow from this.

Today I asked some girl on www.interpals.net to help me with French. She agreed. Now I know only that ,,No problem" is ,,pas de probleme". What a progress... xD

Guy that I started to write with seems to be some sexoholic so probably I'll finish this acquaintance. He is weird and I didn't noticed that at the beginning. And I don't like him anymore xD

Earlier I thought that more people write notes in their blogs on this page. Maybe 10722 visits were mine? xD

It doesn't disturb me in yearning on this blog. So... I'm wondering if my friend is my really friend. There was time we were close. Now not. I was writing about this in other notes. Maybe I'm thinking about this too much but I don't know if I can trust him... It's time to start calling him just colleague.

What do you think about Psychology? Now I think a lot about my future. I'm going to study but I don't know what direction I should choose.
Lately I find out that poeople's problems, feelings or biases are really interesting. Sociology could be great too. I just don't know if it's good way for life and if I will find good job after this.

There was time in my life when I wanted to study English language but it's not good idea. I would choose it if my English were better.

Are here some people that could give me advice? It would be great. Thanks

Today I created an account on www.interpals.net. It's page where we can contact with people all over the world and met new ,,friends". I think this page is great. It's one of methods I could improve my English (or other language). Maybe talking with foreigners will help me. I hope so. I noticed there's a lot of Asian people.

The best cure for old love is new love. I don't have anybody new but I started to flirt with some guy. It's nothing serious of course, no. I'm only writing with him, quite shortly. But I understood that my ex isn't last person in the world. And I have to forget about him;] Maybe in some time I will meet some appropriate person that will make me happy.

I have to change my bias to life.

My cousin has boyfriend only month and she told me that first she'll introduce him to her parents, and then to friends. Now I wonder if it's something serious. Probably not;]
Now I should think about looking for my love;P

I can't be on diet, alought I want. I stopped to exercise becuse I have no time. I eat normally, like always. Moreover my grandmother made my favourite cake and yesterady I drank 5 beers! Putting it mildly I will be FAT. I have to do something with this. I will be content if I would emaciate approximately 5 kilos. Or 10... ;]

I was thinking about food supplements. There are pills that increase thermogenesis and reduction of
fat tissue. I know that it could be dangerous. It's possible that after that I will put on weight. But it depends of me.
When I will be eating normally my weight will be ok.

Cross your finger.

Just now I was reading my blog from the beginning. I found notes about my ex boyfriend (then he wasn't ex). I was writing how happy I was... Hmm... I was stupid. This was extending quite curtly. Only month.

I don't know what is happening with me in last days. It's only 7 november and it's my fifth! notes on this blog. As you can see in archive I hadn't wrote too much since June.

I found a few great songs. I'm listening them all the time:
- Maciej Silski ,,Póki jestes", ,,Gdy nadejdzie dzień"
- Haley James Scott - ,,Friend With Benefits"
- Simple Plan ,,Your Love Is A Lie"
- Kate Voegele ,,Only Fooling Myself", ,,No Good"

I didn't go to school today. I was sleeping to 10 o'clock. What a pity that there's no more days like this. I can't stop going to school. Now I have time to tidy up my room. I didn't do this for ages xD. Later I'm going to watch films. My friend wanted to go with me to swimming pool but I have to pretend that I'm ill so unfortunately I can't go with her.

PS> I miss you... And you. and you.

Today I went to the dentist and I teed up for Monday. I hate dentists;/ But I have to go. It will be terrible. I hope that I won't scream.
Yesterday my friend told me that I ignore him. It's not true of course because it's a person with who I have very good contact. Maybe he thinks that because he want somethnig more than friendship. He told me this and he flatters me all the time... I have to talk with him today.
Probably I will be ill. I have sore throat and fever. I hope it's only cold. I don't want to have flu or something. Especially that we will have longer weekend.

Would would we do if we have no friends? I think that then life would socks. Other people are often our reason to life. Everybody want to have someone to with who he would talk, laugh or cry.
Few months ago I lost one. Later we started to talk again but it's not the same. Earlier our relations were better. Alought it's not goood finish, it's my next experience - that we should care for every person we love and fight for them. We can't give up.

Do I have an idealn life? No. It's a pity but nobody has. Sometimes I have bad days but there are some when I realise that I have a lot of reasons to be happy.

What I have to say to people that hurted me? Fuck you.

I have bithdays today. It's really great day. I spend it with my friends. However I feel lack of something. I don't know what and why. I think I should do everything better or just be better. Maybe it's just temporary, light depresion... and it will go past in few days. I hope so.

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