old sins have long shadows.
2009-02-17 @ 11:22:09
Good morning ladies and gentleman.
Did you have a nice winter break? Yes?
Then go to hell a kick some serious asses because one more week of mopping around, sleeping till 2 p.m and generally drinking and smoking is not something what I can stand for TWO Goddamn weeks.

I think something big and bad is ahead. It might be this stupid and "really-not-so-necessary-first-semester" test in math or it may be my half conscious mind.
If I don't wake up soon I'll probably end up in some psychiatric ward with hand in someone’s pot.

Nothing new. Same old same old and earth didn't stop turning. Sometimes I wish the whole world could froze for a longer while. It would give me time to think a little.
From the other hand time isn't in rush - it is people who can't keep up.

I'm very angry. And unhappy, for that matter.
I'm thinking about homicides very often. Maybe I will turn out to be some serial killer with epilepsy or something...
That would explain it all.

Nice advice for coming week?
Not really.

Old sins have long shadows.
knocked out for indefinite amount of time.
2008-12-18 @ 22:32:19
Oh, yeah, „another day in paradise”. Well, still it depends on definition of word “paradise”. My kind of paradise today looked a lot like my mum forcing me to do many useless house works, thinking it’s going to make our damn Christmas better and brother, complaining about my always-lately unmade bed. How sad, really… If I would be some kind of suicidal freak I would stand now on the edge of London Bridge with ten pounds rock knotted around my ankles.
And hell if it’s not definition of paradise.

I hate Christmas. For some reason I can’t drown totally in presents, Christmas tree and impossibly caloric food sort of madness. Instead of that I complain and I’m more bitchy than usually.

Totally forgot.
My mum was seeing my head teacher today.
Pretty simple.
I found out that my mother’s daughter (well, fine, me! Just don’t like to repeat myself!) is very, very not well-going with people and probably she’ll (I’ll) have a huge amounts of social problems in the future.
Sweet, really.
Like I don’t have them now!
Ok, lets just say I’m not the most talkative, nice and non-vulgar person in whole wide world. So what? There’re some people who like me (don’t ask, just don’t). Shouldn’t it be enough for someone like me?
Well, ask my mother. According to her I’m still on kindergarten level.
And yet she didn’t kill me for my grades. Honestly, when she came back I thought of myself as about person with no oxygen in lungs and no blood in veins.

Something else what isn’t cheering up, good-ass and totally healthy?
Not really.
I’m in very bad mood (but still not I-throw-things-at-everything-what-moves kind of mood), I’m being sick and feeling like hit by pro kick-boxer a dozen of times.
And listening to good oldies. Nothing makes my day better than cracked voice of Shinead O'Connor singing about how time flies when you’re on high and in unfortunate love in the same time.
And very kick-ass.

Well, I better be going.
Some things are better stay hidden. Like illegal pills, drugs or booze from unknown source. But turns out that the worse and most difficult things to explain are the simplest.

Cut the crap.
13 days to go to New Years Eve.

I’ll better quit swearing all the time.
school - here I come...keeling over.
2008-12-10 @ 20:15:29
Just another damn day in office, some would say.
Please! What kind of office is that: you sit on very uncomfortable hair for about 45 minutes, stare at walls painted like gynecologic ward, smelling like old library and “lighted up” by twenty four miserable students.

Well, it is not like the whole day I could compare to doing laundry in some Indonesian, smelly, dirty river.
There was one thing, and one thing only, that could help me survive this unpleasant wave of homework, stupid, tanned as demon girls and immature boys with their showed-off and painfully expensive cells.
Actually, I still have no idea what the hell I was thinking while I was standing there, ready to run faster than any kind of modern, Japanese train. It reminded mi of “good” old times, when I couldn’t breath seeing some people walking down the hallway, having unconscious face and good-ass shoes.
And please (politely please?) DO NOT tell me I’m behaving worse than any first grade student with Little Mermaids suitcase and ironed collar. Some feelings kick your butt harder than any of the guys from “The Hooligans”.

Second thoughts?
Oh, please… It’s just imagination – I can’t help myself with that one.
And still I don’t want to kill, smack, rape or cause any other kind of abuse to anyone.
Anyone… Anyone…
O shit… I DO act like first grade kid!

Anything else?
Not really… Chemistry drives me nuts, some teachers probably want me to have a hart attack and I definitely spend too much time on coffee, sleeping and looking for my Polish workbook (which I’ve lost lately, by the way).

That’s all for today. And for tomorrow, I think. Depends on how bad-ass my next day turns out to be.

Wise thoughts?
Just one.
Too much coffee couldn’t kill you, but could make you feel like worn out truck tire.
And so do waiting.
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