Listen to the static
2012-04-23 @ 12:52:31
I found a new way of dealing with problems: work and money. Nothing makes me happier than a fluent cash flow and keeping things going. Not only did I realize that my chances of getting MA degree are getting higher, but also I found an incredible strength in me that I'm about to use in the forseeable future. My aspirations as an artist have been turned down a bit because I don't want to get distracted by innovative ideas about what my photos should look like, and models and ensambles, hair and make-up etc... Instead, I've been immersing myself in books and linguistic research that I hope will result in the future. Keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck.
In the meantime, I would appreciate any visit on my fanpage:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Aleksandra-Zaborska-Photography/149474678433196
regret
2012-03-02 @ 12:10:33
I'm 24 and I feel like I've wasted at least 5 years of my life. I feel so old and useless. Now I'm thinking about post graduate studies. Why do I want these things now when it's too late? There are always some "could haves", "would haves", "should haves". However, time inevitably fades away and I just have to come to terms with the fact that I will never be a brilliant translator, nor a respected professor. I'm not cut out to have PhD although there are many people who think that I do things well, that I'm always prepared, that my desk is neat and tidy and books on my case are in alphabetical order....but truth to be told, I'm in a mess. I stay up late and the next thing I do in the morning is regret it. I have a boyfriend who may as well be my father and I don't even have a driving licence.
Just kiss me.
2012-01-03 @ 11:18:51
All of the sorrow I felt yesterday now has faded into the background. Only two months and Spring will enter. I've almost finished one shitty project that I've been struggling with. Mornings are good. Took some vitamins and herbs and the world seems less frightening and overwhelming at once. And Rachael Yamagata's new albums sounds much better than through yesterday chucking of inside monsters.
Now that I know that I am surrounded by people who love me and there is You. My favourite Work of Arts.
Everything's New
2012-01-01 @ 12:46:54
Resolution 1: Don't forget who you are. Resolution 2: Say only what is true to you. Resolution 3: Don't think that it was meant to be. Resolution 4: Gonna make it on my own. Resolution 5: Always do what is right.
How will I keep them, when everything that I had wished for seems so distant, yet I desperately want myself back. All those moments between bigger moments; little but significant parts of my life. All that defined me and all because of which I felt so special. I want everything back.
Symptoms of Maturity
2011-11-10 @ 12:48:04
The thinnest line between us grew thicker Because I've never wanted that to happen To feel the rush of stream on my shoulders when I only wanted to drift unwittingly.
You and I grew apart Because none of us would accept the fact That everybody changes no matter how many times you put your toothbrush into your cup everyday invariably, as if it didn't matter.
You and I grew apart Because when I listen to those songs They don't fire my imagination As if it was a child's tool Now I'm building the life of my own.
You and I grew apart Because if it hadn't happened I would still be there standing with my arms lain down Because that's the way it goes and neither of us know why but that Previous Me says I should find my place.
...
2011-10-07 @ 08:25:41
Summer ghosts hang from willows. Swans in the lake huddle up from cold: Autumn has come to everyone. Everybody knows this time: waking up and seeing more naked trees, removing gossamer threads from your face - tenuous like your daily routine and eventually, falling asleep lulled by the sound of rain. And when you finally realizeit is really the end of summer, you find yourself snowbound. You want to winter there, in your home alone, whereas outside the rainclouds roll.
Her
2011-09-24 @ 18:05:05
Your first one. My bad dream. Comparing, though I try not to. And suddenly I stalk her on facebook, I watch her photos, I desperately follow her new boyfriend's profile just to find Your features in his face. All of this isn't proof on my paranoic behaviors. All of this only prooves that I am completely normal and totally in love with You.
Fading
2011-09-20 @ 12:45:09
Morning mist The breath of crows The chime of clocks They tick and tick.
Withdraw to some point not even a place not even a space I just feel the wind on my weary face.
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