Thoughts, thought, thoughts.
2011-02-22 @ 19:42:29
Do you get a kind of feeling, when you're reading a book or listening to music or watching a film, the kind of feeling that makes you wonder? It's a sparkle, you see it and go toward it. When you catch a thought don't let it go. Develop it.

If you want to read out sth interesting from today's post, let go already. =D You will find here only some of my, to be honest, messed up thoughts.

I've found myself caught up in English. I've opened my book and my profound feelings that I have to this subject became realive.

I've also listened and have become spellbound by one of Katie Melua's songs called Spider's web. Below you can see a piece of chorus:
'Cause the line between
wrong and right
is a width of a thread
from a spider's web
and the piano keys
are black and white
but they sound
like a million colors
in your mind
What you need to notice is a profound meaning of these few lines. It seems to me, that nothing is black and white; which means clear. Something that seems to be obvious often turns up different then we may have thought before. Line between wrong and right is so thin that you don't need to do a lot, and you suddenly find yourself on the other side.
This is the way our life and the choices we make are constructed.
By the way, thinking and wondering is good. Mostly, because we use our brains and creative thinking. This is enough words written in English for me, for today.
Take care. :)
"And isn't it ironic, don't you think?". About moments when you just can't help it.
2011-02-14 @ 19:42:35
Watch out for signs.
Have you ever heard of life ironic? I've, actually, have, but I had never believed in it until IT happened.
Sometimes everything is going in the right direction, and you think that there is nothing that can ruin the good time you're having. You make the most of chances, you focus on everyday chores and activities. Your day is perfectly planned and you stick to your to-do-list. You've even started to lead a healthy lifestyle. And then, that's right, when you think, that you deserve a moment of relax, when you think, that this party that you're going to go to will be great because there's no way it could turn out wrong, IT happens. Life ironic. You come to the party and suddenly you get a headache, or you see your ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend, or somebody calls you and tells you that your last test that you've recently written was far afield. Suddenly, your good humor disappears and you stay in the middle of the room, wretched, miserable and there is nothing, really nothing you can do, you just can't help it, can't help that your soap bubble punctures. "And isn't this ironic, don't you think?"
Life ironic happens when you least expect it. It's a thing that should NOT be, but somehow IS.
"It's like meeting a man of my dreams,
and then meeting his beautiful wife,
and isn't this ironic? Yeah, I really do think..."
As far as my case is concerned, on January I said to myself that I need to become better, try harder, to deserve the party that was set on 12th of February, the prom (studniówka. So I learn really hard, harder than before many exams I took. I took up a sport, to look good. I fixed my relationship with one of my parents, I bought beautiful shoes and a dress, I found a partner who was funny and with who I could dance really well and then... on the day of the prom I... got sick. Yes, I got sick, I felt bad, I went to the prom and I didn't have fun, my partner hardly talked to me, because he was afraid and concerned that there was something bad going on with me. And so, I didn't relax, I deserved that but I didn't..! "And isn't this ironic, don't you think?" A school year full of stress, a month when I really put myself together a night that I had been waiting for since I got to secondary school a good attitude that I had and... I watched how it was falling apart.

Watch out for signs. Sometimes you see that something bad is coming but you don't react, because you think that it's just a kind of foresee, in fact, it might be right. Before your prom stay at home and don't go to school on Friday, sleep 10 hours, take your time to prepare and don't think, please, don't, about all the problems you have.
Because you see, even then, sometimes you can't help it, but, what can I say? It's not fair, but it happens.

"Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face"

Take care!
'You don't know me, you don't wear my chains.'
2011-02-13 @ 20:01:05
To begin with, I've got a song for you.
Augustana - Boston

I want you to listen carefully. Pay your attention at the chorus; "You don't know me, you don't wear my chains." Now, just think about it. We wear our chains and sometimes we wish we could lay this weight to somebody else, talk it over, think it through, but our chains are so tight that we can't, we have to live with them. And sometimes we need to make a decision. Maybe not easy one, but definitely helpful. "I think I need a new town to leave this all behind..." It's a tough decision. You don't have to move out, but sometimes you feel that you have to change something, urgently. The thing you're going to change in your life is often something that your friend would never say you will do. For example, you're sociable, and you try to stay away from people for some time, because you need it. Who would have thought, right? That is why we can't say that we know a person really well. People are people and sometimes they fall apart.

The crosses we bear are not light, they are heavy. Let you find the best solution to make them weight less.
I'm sorry I've fallen apart.
2011-02-07 @ 19:53:58
My results are not satisfying. I had mock polish and math exams, first was extended. I got 60%. Measly 60%. We had mock polish on November 2010 and I scored 80%. What is more, today I sit math mock exam and I'm not sure If I've solved enough tasks to pass. I'm so scared, I'm devastated, I'm... not okay. I've searched the internet looking for thresholds at the universities I'm planning to apply for. That's how I've fallen apart.
If I had applied one year ago, my score wouldn't have been enough. And it's sad, you know? I've watched many tv-series and films in English. I've written many essays, I've talked many times with my Native Speaker, I've even found a job at hers place (I listen to her students and check if they do not make mistakes, if yes, I encounter it), I've gained so much knowledge, I feel like I'm imbibing English, and I'm still not good enough to get my points on Matura exam so I could apply for University I've dreamt of since I was a kid?
Come on... I have no idea what else shall I do?

I sincerely feel for all the people who had to or who will have to get through this admissions. It takes away your strength, it doesn't let you sleep in the night, it's exhausting...

I'm sorry for this post. I'm sorry, but I guess some of you have already experienced such incertitude and know that it's terrible.

So, tomorrow another mock English Matura exam. Great. Just can't wait for it.
To write about nothing. Love or friendship?
2011-02-03 @ 19:21:05
Hi! It's me again. :D
I promised myself to write often.
That is why I've come here.
Yep, I still want to become better at English.

Next week I'm sitting math and English mock exams. Yes, I am stressed. I will do my best, although it's not so important as May's Matura test. Teachers just want to check on if we make steps up if it's about studying.

What's less stressing, but still, is that I'm planning to apply for English competition that is revolved around culture of English-speaking countries.

I've just watched the news. The TV-presenter introduced a couple who had lived 80 years together so far. Isn't this impressing? Can you imagine a relationship that lasts so many years? Do you think that love is more important than friendship? And do you think that to make a good relationship, first, you have to get along and become friends or loves from the first sights have chances to survive as well?

Honestly, I don't know. I just do not know the answers for the questions I inquired. :D

The Blog Post about nothing is considered to be finished. xD
Have a nice Friday and the weekend!
I'm having a prom on 12th of February. ^^
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