2013-03-16 @ 21:07:16
I'm basically done here. ;)

I've just read my first blog post. And I realised that I came here because I wanted to improve my English. And so I did.

You can also see my name on the blog mainpage on the left. Because with 86 blog posts I was placed on that list.

And... well, I've kind of... matured. I'm almost 21, I study the language I came here to improve and this is it.

To all the people here: If you want to improve/learn and be good at English just put some effort into doing so, okay? May persistence be always by your side, because as far as learning a language is concerned, it is tremendously important. Write, watch films, listen to the songs, be curious, and smile 'cause with every day You are becoming more and more fluent.

Take care and thanks for all the comments and views. :)

A really sad note, just don't read it.
2013-02-09 @ 20:32:25
You know, in the very beginning when I was just starting with this blog I had this idea. The idea that I would write here and show all of the people out there that whatever happens, in whatever position life puts them, there is always a way out. The only thing is to try and fight for the important.

And so I tried, and so I did.

And just when I resigned from all the staff I could have done, it has just occured to me, what if it is not worth it? What if all I've done has no purpose? What if giving up so many things eventually will leave me with nothing?

I used to think that if a person knows what to do with his/her life, there is no limit, nothing could stop him/her. How foolish of me.

Because You see, it's not always that easy. It is not granted that your hard work will eventually pay off. It is not true that justice will find its way. And I've just learnt it the hard way.

I also thought that optimism can save you when everything else seems not to be working. I thought that optimism is a cure for stress that it is needed because it makes one's life easier.
And again I was wrong.

I just have this a little breakdown because I failed. I failed despite all the learning and all the hours I spent memorising and trying to understand staff. And eventually, as always, I spen twice as much time as anyone else, learning. And I failed. I've neglected people, because I thought that I had this aim - just to be good at one thing in my life, just to be the best.So I've neglected ... myself. I don't even have a thing I could boast about. Cause all my learning left me with the average result, or even fail, all my giving up in favour of this left me with no life besides my books. All of that made me more gloomy, more disappointed, and more a person as I never wanted to become.

All of this because I wanted to belive that things can get better. Apparently, when someone is doomed, even though he/she tries, there is nothing that can be done to change the situation. Nothing.

and it's fucking sad that I really mean what I've just written. 'Cause I don't want to be a counterargument to myself. But as much as I don't want it, that much I am.

Sorry. I'm really sorry.
"Les Misérables" - deserves Oscar(s)
2013-01-29 @ 21:10:16
There is a feeling, a pleasant emotion that lingers inside of me after I watch a very good film. Every time, without exception.

And so today I've watched "Les Misérables" and I have to admit that I'm definitely impressed. There is no song now that I'd like to listen to. Why? Because I'm simply under the spell of the soundtrack of the film. So I try to recall this masterpiece, and I want this impression I've got to remain as fresh as it is now.

Honestly, I hope it will win the Oscars. Seriously, 8 nominations? I think the film deserves all of them. Well, I'm willing to believe that every film under the direction of Tom Hooper has to be amazing. Take 'King's Speech', for example. How many Oscars did this film win! How many brilliant and talented actors it starred. It is just impossible not to admire these works.

I strongly recommend You "Les Misérables". This is no ordinary musical. A song follows a song, but there is no feeling of boredom. Instead, a few times the scenes send shivers down one's spine.The costumes, the direction, everything is worth appreciation. It's not that I'm emotional, but I almost shed tears when the moment made me feel that way.

If You have seen the film, just share your opinion below. :) If You haven't - I strongly recommend You watching it. :)

New Days Resolutions
2012-12-14 @ 00:50:29
At the end of every year the majority of people decides to change *something* in their lives. All the resolutions are usually abandoned few days later. However, there are some changes that actually take place permanently in our cosy house of not-changing-the-safe-position. Usually all the people tend to set their goals after a bad event, which becomes deeply embedded into their memory. And this is what this post will be about - the changes, the aims, and goals we actually achieve as a result of living by trial and error.

All one needs to do is to think for a moment. Think, but not about the pleasant things; these we take as they come, but it's what hurts us that evokes our innermost thoughts, thoughts about a change. It might strike when least expected. The reason is that it's impossible to see through one another's mind. And people tend to overreact and judge definitely too quickly. What I'm driving at is that people judge the others hot-headedly, as a result the innocent gets hurt. And when a person is a victim of such an action, he/she decided to change something, and these changes, in turn, work out.

And so people decide:
to be more reticent
not to tell the truth
to leave the circle of 'friends' and look for something new as they turned out to be rotten to the core
they decide to be better
to look differently at the world

So what was your latest New Day Resolution?

My story goes like this:
I don't stick to people love complaining and decolour all that is vivid in the world.
Therefore, I move aside and look for the ones who try to be optimists or at least are not hypocritical.
I move aside off people who talk behind the others' backs. Therefore, I try to be nicer.

And the thought for today completely unrelated to the post: Every met stranger is like a new born hope.
Respect me vs respect me not = please help. Am I right?
2012-12-03 @ 23:26:30
On sharing a flat with the other student and sharing a room.

Do you share the flat with the others? Or a room with someone else? What I'm driving at is the fact that there is a list of rules we have to obey, even though no one has ever written them down, isn't it? So when sharing a room in one flat we are aware, more or less, of what to do and what is unacceptable.

Just imagine. You share a room with a person who doesn't clear up. What do you do then? You try to talk and sort it out, you try to be patient and understand that your roommate might not necessarily see a problem in the issue as a whole. And after you do that, it occurs to him/her that he/she has to respect you, as you respect him/her.

Okay, but what if after some short period of time the situation reoccurs?
Do you try to apply the method of repeating until a person gets it? Or do you have your own way of solving this kind of problems?

After all, it all comes down to respecting each others. We tend to think, perhaps too naively, that the person with whom we compare the room will pay us back. So if we try, them try. If we clean, they clean. If we are try to be as quiet as possible while they're learning or sleeping they will do the same for us in turn.

But what if they don't?
What if one day this whole respecting-thing stops? What method would you choose to apply?

Because You see, I do respect the others, I do respect them as much as I can. And I'm not paid back. Or at least I stopped being respected.

And I don't like this sick atmosphere of talking behind my back, and I'm not strong enough to argue, what for? If I can't come to an agreement peacefully, what is the purpose in shouting and being angry? I'd rather move out.
What do You think ?
What's eating You?
2012-12-02 @ 23:20:53
Sometimes all we need is a walk in the park. Is it funny? Is it funny that we tend to have such funny cravings?

Usually the majority of us is greed afflicted, if I may say so. The more we have, the more we want. And if we can't get what we want we become more and more frustrated, fatigued, vulnerable to all of the external factors.

It's easy to get lost in our cravings, isn't it?

All of us suffer from it. I don't think there are exceptions, to be honest.

In a relationship,
too often we are unsatisfied with the one we're with. Time passes and we become more likely to perceive the beauty of the partner through the prism of the flaws. We expect more, at the same time forgetting that we don't give that much either.

In a career,
Oh, how many of us wants to achieve more and more. And it's good. It's good if we want to develop ourselves and we invest in our future. The thing is, too often we pay in our health, in our life, in our dreams of a different kind.

The more we have the more we want.

Although it might not be seen at first glance, we are greedy creatures. Isn't it the name of the worm who's eating you inside?


We hurt the ones we love because we are dissatisfied with ourselves.
Because instead focusing on ourselves we look at the people who are better than us, and we compare ourselves with them.

But let's face it, and maybe there's gonna be a hope for us.

We can't gain the world.

But we still can, step by step appreciate the things we have, try to see the good in the others, forget and forgive, and breath, breathe in the life that is a gift.

Achieve, be successful, but measure success not by your wealth but by your happiness and satisfaction.
Constraints. In the name of...?
2012-11-26 @ 00:06:08
In the name of... what?

There's no time.
The clock is ticking.
There's no time.

Rush, rush, rush.

There's no time nowadays
for love, for eating in peace, for relaxing, for doing something for yourself. We've become prisoners of goods, of artificial welfare, prisoners of ourselves. The society - those who are present in our lives every day, impose on us rules. Their expectations, our expectations, all the expectations mix altogether. 'Behave yourself' you scold yourself. 'What will the others think?' - the question that appears in our minds too often.

All the imposed rules on ourselves, all the constraints of every-day, all of the thoughts of the things that remain to be done, all of that surrounds us, because we let it be present in our lives.
And ALL of that in the name of what?

What makes us behave in this way? Day by day we become deprived of our individuality.
And ALL of that in the name of what?

Maybe we should
give ourselves 10 minutes a day.
Maybe we should use this time thinking about nothing at all, clearing all the mind from the thoughts? It's no that easy after all. 10 minutes thinking about nothing at all, turning down the voice of reason in your head, the voice of 'here and now' even, finding yourself in a total silence of nothingness.

And in the nothingness we shall see. And slow down.

In the name of life.
Our life we shall slow down.
The art of making the wrong choice.
2012-11-17 @ 00:48:16
Have you ever wondered what would it be like right now if you hadn't made that one decision in your life?
Sit with me for a while, play some soothing music and let us relax a bit and revive some nice memories of the past, for the time has come to ponder on a bit, to think for a while, to ask some 'what-if' questions, which you know you need, you need to state a hypothesis from time to time, the hypothesis that won't do you any good, in fact. And you know it's all about your nature. Posing questions whose answers there's no use to look for. Thinking over and over again, daydreaming, you know you don't need all of that. But you want to. And that is a fact we all have in common.

There's no way we could separate our 'here&now' from 'back then'. For the past made us who we are now. And the choices we make now are shaped by our experience. And our experience stems from the past itself. It's indestructible, the trees, the plants with the fruit of our 'present' have the roots deeps in the ground of the 'past' thanks to which they exist.

A cup of coffee is all we need now. Or a nice tea. Some soothing relaxing music. And here we go. We embark on a trip to our interior world known only to us, to our desert island called 'through my eyes seen'. And after we revive a single memory another one is made alive again. Not a second passes by when our picture of what used-to-be begins to colour itself. And suddenly there's no music playing in the ground for once again we live what has already been lived. We hear the lively, sometimes rumbling, though, conversations, we hear the laughter, we taste the tears once again. Until tired of it all we go to sleep.

And when we wake up the next day, we are sure of who we are for it's the past that made us who we are.

And we start another day, a gift, because we are alive, and in fact, it's we who can still change the world. :)
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